I work as a police emergency calltaker.....
I took a call one evening, it was probably the most angry man i' ve ever had to deal with, imagine a man with a gravelly voice shouting into the phone. The exchange went something like this.

Me: Police emergency, what is your emergency?

Angry man: I want the police!

Me: Why do you want the police?

Angry man: it's serious, I want the fuckin' police, and I want the fuckin' police NOW!

Me: I need to know what happened, or I can't send police.

Angry man: Alright, it's my fuckin' neighbour, he painted his wall blue, and I leaned against the fuckin' wall and now my jacket is wrecked.

Me: That is not an emergency....

Angry man: It is an emergency, because he didn't put a wet paint sign up.

Me: That is not an emergency, it is not even a call for the police, and I will not be sending police around.

Angry man: What? You're not sending police around? Are you fuckin' serious? Would you send them around if I was stabbed?.....

Me: Well, yes because if you were stabbed, then that would be an emergency, and I would send police, and would have to contact the ambulance service on your behalf.

Angry man: Alright, I've been stabbed!

Me: No sir, I don't believe you have been stabbed, and I am disconnecting this line, as you are holding up an emergency line, reserved for genuine emergencies.

I then disconnected the line. 15 seconds later he called back.

Angry man: hello, I want the police, I've been stabbed and shot. Get them here now...
( Lord & Lady Pants, Thu 16 May 2013, 13:22, 9 replies)

What happens at that point?

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 16 May 2013, 13:46, closed)

I gave up and went to the pub.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 May 2013, 13:49, closed)

After that, nothing. When it is obvious someone is making stuff up, we just move on to the next call. If it was up to me I would love to see some of these liers and timewasters charged.
( Lord & Lady Pants, Thu 16 May 2013, 14:12, closed)

Hmmm...
It'd be great if you could put them through to a premium rate recording where it explained in great detail what it might cost them if they are found to have wasted emergency services time.

Or humiliate them by playing back the most ridiculous ones on the National Lottery show.
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 16 May 2013, 15:39, closed)

Isn't wasting police time an offense?
You could send the coppers round to investigate his claim of injury, might be a nice earner for them.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 May 2013, 0:41, closed)

Was it Clint Eastwood
phoning from Gran Torino?
( ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Thu 16 May 2013, 13:55, closed)

It wasn't Clint, his voice was gravelly, but strained and high pitched, like he was constipated, and trying very hard to take a dump. I doubt Clint would have complained about a bit of wet paint, he probably would have just shot whoever had wronged him.
( Lord & Lady Pants, Thu 16 May 2013, 14:08, closed)

i didn't think you could terminate calls to 999
www.bbc.co.uk/news/10386731
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 16 May 2013, 22:17, closed)

If we couldn't disconnect a call, then we could potentially miss a serious emergency call. We stay on the line until we get all the details from the caller. If someone calls in complaining about not being let into a nightclub, or getting paint on their clothes, I inform them it is not an emergency situation and I end the call.
( Lord & Lady Pants, Thu 16 May 2013, 22:38, closed)