We thought you might be lost...
Back in my youthful days I had finished being a student, got a proper job but still lived in temporary rented accommodation.

So in my mind it made sense not to have to change all my paperwork such as where my car was registered every 6 months, so I left it all pointing to my parents address for reasons of common sense.

Obviously being young and working in IT I had a bit of a twat car which I thought was the best thing in the world... a purple astra GTE. It may as well have had a big sign reading "Police, stop this car" as getting pulled over to "check" my details was a once a month affair.

It was Milton Keynes I lived in back then so I'd whisk along the dual carriageway at 60/70mph barely slowing at the roundabouts since you could see when it was clear.

Milton Keynes is laid out on a grid road system and I was on the far side of the "square" I lived in when I spotted a police car approaching the roundabout I was crossing. I could see where this was likely to go and with it being sunny I just wasn't in the mood.

So I quickly nipped off the main road into "my" grid square to follow the local internal roads to my house rather than go around the grid on the main roads. The police car followed.

I did a perfect 28mph, obeying every sign and junction as I approached the local shop. The police car followed.

I continued my perfect drive past the school, glancing in the mirror I could see the 2 police officers running my details through the radio. The police car followed.

I reached the long road I lived on and drove toward home, the police car followed...

200 metres from my front door, the blue lights went on. I sighed and pondered how best to deal with it this time. So I slowed but didn't stop.

100 metres from my door I put on the indicator and eventually pulled up outside my house.

I got out and the police went into the "Is this your car sir?" speech they love so much.

In time my details came back all clean, I'd explained that I was living here temporarily hence car was registered at my "permanent home" that was all fine etc etc.

Of the 2 coppers one had done all the talking while the other one ferreted around in the background, I can only assume they'd had a bet going as to who could nick someone first and he had lost as he was not happy to find I was a law obiding citizen. That's when he decided to pipe up.

"So, if this is where you live, we saw you on the other side of the area. Why did you drive through instead of using the main road, we thought you might be lost?".... Obviously fishing for some guilty secret.

"Honestly?" I ask.... they both perk up, perhaps they have landed an international criminal after all and I'm about to confess all....

"Yes" say the coppers.

"Well.... I was driving along minding my own business, when I saw I being followed by a police car". You could hear them both release their breath, evidently not the great score they'd hoped for. They exchanged knowing glances and without a word one went to the car and got out a little box, their spot check kit and proceeded to measure the tyre depth on all 4 tyres, check the tax disc, gave me a producer for insurance & MOT (back in those days it wasn't all on computer!).

Eventually I said "If you don't mind I'll take my stuff inside now as we both know me and the car are all clean", they didn't object and I went inside leaving them to work out what to do with the rest of their afternoon.

Now I'm older, everytime I see a chav racing around in a suped up death trap I always think to myself, "I wish I was a copper... I'd nick him for that!".
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 17 May 2013, 11:11, 2 replies)

1. You were driving a car
2. The police pulled you over but you hadn't done anything so they let you go
3. The end


I can see how you got your name!!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:21, closed)

It's an anecdote, if you wish to spare yourself the pain of reading my posts feel free to click the "ignore" link. No offence :-)
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Mon 20 May 2013, 12:23, closed)