Snot sample
My husband had to have nose surgery to stop him snoring. He had to go to the hospital for a check-up about a week before the op was due. So I wrote a script and got a friend to ring him up. The conversation went something like:

Friend (putting on Scottish accent): Mr Safetyfox, this is Nurse Biggins from the ENT department. You were here earlier for your check up. I'm afraid we forgot to ask you for a mucus sample. We need it to make sure there won't be a reaction to the drugs.

Husband: Oh... OK. Erm... by 'mucus' you mean 'snot', right?

Friend: Yes, that's right. Please just blow your nose into a piece of cling film and send it to the ENT department at [address]. Thank you bye.

At this point we were wetting ourselves laughing and had to get off the phone before he began to suspect us. When he got home that evening, he said to me, 'You'll never guess what happened... I've got to send some snot to the hospital! and the nurse on the phone sounded really nice. I think she liked me. I could tell she was laughing.'

At that point I could no longer contain my own laughter, which is why some unfortunate postroom worker at the Kent and Sussex hospital was spared having to open a snot-filled blob of cling film.
( Safetyfox, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 16:35, Reply)