Builder Phil and site shenanigans
Apologies for repost, but this deserves another airing:

One of Phil's builder workmates is a notorious trickster and delights in the grossest kinds of japes imaginable. He starts one morning by handing out Opal Fruits which are declined all round by knowing parties until one gulliable sort takes a sweet and puts it in his mouth, but his suspicions are aroused when he notices that everyone is wincing at him.

"Wot? Wot the fahk's up with you lot?" enquired the unfortunate chap.

Turned out that the Opal Fruit had been inserted in a builder's bum before being carefully resealed in it's wrapper.

"You fahkkin' dirty kahnt!" screams the victim, who swears blind vengence and the next day pisses in the half full milk bottle of his tormentor.

Naturally our prankster is none to impressed to be on the receiving end and hatches the most devious and nasty of plots. The next evening he returns home and engages in coitus with his wife who was in a rather delicate time of the month. This last detail was essential to the revenge, declining a shower the next morning, our site prankster turns up at the site portakabin and smears his ripe knob all over the inside of his victim's tea mug.

"Fahkkin 'ell, anyone checked the fahkin' milk today? I fink it's gone orf. My tea dunnarf smell cheesy"

I'm told the ensuing punch up took five people to subdue.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 13 Dec 2007, 17:49, 1 reply)

:(
That just makes me feel ill.
(MrTrent cannot think of a clever sig., Thu 13 Dec 2007, 19:08, closed)