Washing powder + Fairy Liquid + Toilets= Soapy
A gem from Uni when I lived (or more existed) in halls, which were filled with loud-mouthed twunts. Being a quiet type, I never went to the on-masse nightclub of a friday which the rest of my hall did, but stayed in having a wee smokette with some fellow souls.

Every friday, at 2 am, the twunts (about 20 of them would return, pissed as gorillas and about as loud and obnoxious) came back and proceeded to shout, barf, and generally keep me awake till dawn and harass the girls who lived in my block, until one night I could take no more - I'm the kind of guy who lets things bubble under the surface, then finally explodes like a fabulous Roman candle of rage.

So, on that night, one of my stoner chums left my room, silently, and disappeared for a bit. He returned, giggling like a loon and announced "I've left teeth marks in every piece of cheese I can find in the fridges".

I was inspired, however something more needed to be done.

I took as much fairy liquid (a common UK brand of washing up liquid - particularly bubbly) and washing powder as I could find, and, cleverly for a stoned bloke, poured them into the cistern of the toilet which was below my room.

I then retired to a safe distance and waited.

At 2 am, right on cue, the twunts returned, pissed as ever.

Joy of joys, one I particularly hated (he was a believer that all clothes should be designer, he was a mummy's boy in a creepy way, and God help any woman he fancied) needed to barf. He had been holding it in in the taxi, and legged it upstairs to the toilet to puke.

Guess which toilet he used.

That flush/scream combo is the noise that will make me smile in hell.


They never found out it was me, as I had a reputation for being the "stoned bloke who never even moves."
( DrPrunesquallor is determined to post more as of, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 11:35, 1 reply)

"roman candle of rage"!!!
click
(twiceydrinker hmmm is it pint time?, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 11:38, closed)