Women are evil
A Few year back when my oldest was a toddler I had went on a works night out and got totally bladdered.

I got home and had the usual amorous drunken attempts at getting the wife to have sex knocked back as 'she hadn't been out, I stunk of beer and she was going to have to get up with the little one next day as I was in no fit state'.

Well of course I protested that of course I would get up with our child.. I loved her and of course it wasn't my fault as I had missed her all night and had been dying to get home and see her cos she was so sexy... After a great deal of persuasion I got my wicked little way and she got my thee inches of snarling death - only under the condition that I got up the next morning with Jake our 2yr old... seemed like a fair trade at the time.

The next morning 7am with a belly that was trying to vacate my body via my mouth and a headache against the world the 'deal' seemed less fair. Jake wanting to play and wanting breakfast was just too much to take, I love him to bits and would normally lay down and die for him but could he not understand that I had a major hangover???? I lay on the sofa and instantly had them sweats that tell you that you went silly the previous night.

Next thing I knew I was woken by my wife screaming, I realised I had fell into a deep hangover induced sleep.. however I also realised that this wasn't a you swine you went back to sleep, this was a panicked scream.

I jumped up to find our front door wide open with the wife screaming "where is Jake!!"... instantly I felt sick, not with beer but with fear, panic, guilt, the lot. What had I done? my little lad had got out of the house and was missing 'cos I was too hung-over to stay awake.. how bad a parent was I?.. what if something has happened to him.. how would I ever forgive myself?

I was in a state and was running round the street calling for him with tears starting to stream from my face.. about 2 minutes but what seemed like a lifetime later I heard my wife calling for me so I went back to the house fearing she had had some news of Jake's whereabouts and it wasn't going to be good...

I got back to the door and was met by my wife and a grinning 2yr old waving merrily at daddy - The wife had told Jake to hide from daddy upstairs, opened the front door and started screaming like a banshee. All just to get me back for falling asleep!!!

In fairness her little prank worked, I never fall asleep while in charge of the kids anymore and I NEVER make silly drunken promises in return for sex anymore but I feel that pranking you into thinking you are the cause of the loss of your child is maybe a touch harsh... if ever the story comes up she still has that look of womanly triumph that says "yeah, well it taught YOU who was boss though didn't it!"
(three inches of snarling death, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 11:10, 6 replies)

women!
they can be evil cant they, see my cunning way around it is to lock the door and secrete both sets of keys into my pockets, put on lunar jim and then lie on the floor, painfuly to both the stomach and the brain, but keeps the nipper in the house
(pogo_it, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 11:28, closed)

Hahahaha!
Brilliant!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 14:37, closed)

..
wish I'd thought of that!

*click* (for your Mrs)
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 18 Dec 2007, 14:40, closed)

Hahahaha!
That is SO evil. Still, you won't do that again in a hurry :)
( Weetobix, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 15:36, closed)

Post Script
I rang her up this morning and told her I posted the story and She started laughing like some evil genius from a bond film (mu ha ha ha haaaa) then said I have to go, one of the lasses is here and i MUST tell her about that one.. thanks I had forgot about it and thats made my day..

As I said women will always win
(three inches of snarling death, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 15:56, closed)

Love the username
and liked the story. Have a click.

It's nice to see noobs who can tell a tale well.

Welcome to QOTW

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 23:18, closed)