Pointless Experiments
Pavlov's Frog writes: I once spent 20 minutes with my eyes closed to see what it was like being blind. I smashed my knee on the kitchen cupboard, and decided I'd be better off deaf as you can still watch television.
( , Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:00)
Pavlov's Frog writes: I once spent 20 minutes with my eyes closed to see what it was like being blind. I smashed my knee on the kitchen cupboard, and decided I'd be better off deaf as you can still watch television.
( , Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:00)
« Go Back
An experiment in national stereotyping...
In an effort to understand the truths behind certain behavioural stereotypes among various nations, I decided to use the international nature of my job to conduct an experiment: How do different nationalities respond to the floating of an air biscuit within a confined space; i.e. a lift?
The idea came to me when I myself was subjected to the malodorous passing of bum gas in an elevator I had the displeasure to be contained within. The response among the exclusively British crowd was typical. And as I joined my compatriots in an understated, frown fuelled protest at the noxious violation of our senses, a thought occurred to me: "I wonder how other nations would respond in such circumstances".
I reasoned that a group of acquaintances would be more vocal, a thought that I had confirmed upon dropping my bat in a friend filled car. And so, with the responses of each control group logged in my brain, I set about seeking opportunities to further explore my thoughts on the matter.
Unfortunately my rectum proved reluctant to perform on demand and several chances were missed, leading me to wonder whether this would be an entirely fruitless pursuit.
Then, as luck would have it, once the lift doors had slid shut at the foot of a particularly tall building one of the multinational occupants (which may or may not have been me) of the soon to be highly unpleasant lift emitted a controlled, comfortably silent but viciously deadly anal expulsion.
I'd like to say the response was a curious blend of reactions; from outright indignation through mild amusement to uncontrolled, roll about the floor hysteria. Alas I was gravely disappointed. In truth, apart from some slight sniggering that appeared to be coming from my own face, there was little beyond a very uncomfortable silence and a complete absence of eye contact.
Result: More research required.
( , Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:56, 2 replies)
In an effort to understand the truths behind certain behavioural stereotypes among various nations, I decided to use the international nature of my job to conduct an experiment: How do different nationalities respond to the floating of an air biscuit within a confined space; i.e. a lift?
The idea came to me when I myself was subjected to the malodorous passing of bum gas in an elevator I had the displeasure to be contained within. The response among the exclusively British crowd was typical. And as I joined my compatriots in an understated, frown fuelled protest at the noxious violation of our senses, a thought occurred to me: "I wonder how other nations would respond in such circumstances".
I reasoned that a group of acquaintances would be more vocal, a thought that I had confirmed upon dropping my bat in a friend filled car. And so, with the responses of each control group logged in my brain, I set about seeking opportunities to further explore my thoughts on the matter.
Unfortunately my rectum proved reluctant to perform on demand and several chances were missed, leading me to wonder whether this would be an entirely fruitless pursuit.
Then, as luck would have it, once the lift doors had slid shut at the foot of a particularly tall building one of the multinational occupants (which may or may not have been me) of the soon to be highly unpleasant lift emitted a controlled, comfortably silent but viciously deadly anal expulsion.
I'd like to say the response was a curious blend of reactions; from outright indignation through mild amusement to uncontrolled, roll about the floor hysteria. Alas I was gravely disappointed. In truth, apart from some slight sniggering that appeared to be coming from my own face, there was little beyond a very uncomfortable silence and a complete absence of eye contact.
Result: More research required.
( , Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:56, 2 replies)
This sounds like
an opportunity for collaborative study. I'd be delighted to share my findings with the wider scientific community.
( , Fri 25 Jul 2008, 18:39, closed)
an opportunity for collaborative study. I'd be delighted to share my findings with the wider scientific community.
( , Fri 25 Jul 2008, 18:39, closed)
« Go Back