First job in IT...
...First day.

Meet the team, the boss said. Where upon I met all of my soon-to-be mates, and one odd chap who I shall call Neil, for that was his name. All the lads were in the 'IT Helpdesk' on one side of the building, Neil sat alone among stacks of unwashed coffee cups in a small cupboard full of hoovers. Well maybe they were important servers, who knows.... Anyhoo, I mentioned to Neil about my apprehension about this job, and that this was my first in IT. I'd never had any experience of most of the issues the guys were expected to fix, and it worried me a little.

Then the alarm bells started tolling in my mind when he said the immortal phrase:

"You've just gotta fake it 'till you make it." Accompanied by a moonfaced smug smile.

All at once, I realised several things. One, Neil was a cunt. Two, Neil was happy lying about knowing stuff to all the team. Three, Neil now knew I knew nothing. Four, Neil knows *I* know he's a lying cockend. Five, I need to keep my CV handy.

But over the years, I grew to adapt to things and my honesty and non-fakery actually got me more respect. Neil The Cunt managed to piss me off almost daily, with stories and really unhelpful nonsense, and in fact tried to get me sacked once. But I had the last laugh, because his undoing was down to him mouthing off at a head of department - no amount of faking could get the fat fucker outta that one.... HARDY HAR HAR...

Length? Was the width of that fat redneck that most people hated.
(unknownstuntman, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 11:43, Reply)