Family codes and ritualsFreddy Woo writes, "as a child we used to have a 'whoever cuts doesn't choose the slice' rule with cake. It worked brilliantly, but it's left me completely anal about dividing up food - my wife just takes the piss as I ritually compare all the slice sizes."
What codes and rituals does your family have?
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chthonic, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:05)
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Dead Certains...I probably need some backlog of information here before a few of you raise your eyebrows and develop the assumption that I spend my days talking in tongues with my head rotating.
My family are impervious to mortal weaponry thanks to generation after generation of army endurance and a couple of world wars (I was born with grey matter rather than muscle so skipped that lot for uni). I've an uncle who fought off the IRA in his underwear when they stormed his house in Northern Ireland after spending 10 years in the SAS. Along with this, I have a grandfather who, and might I add was blind drunk and figured it would be a laugh, drove his army supply truck over a landmine in WW2 and wound up being 30% metal and with shrapnel still lodged in his body when he died. On the other side of things, I've a 60-a-day smoker great uncle who hasn't been able to quit the habit for 70 years and suffers from lukemia and narcolepsy. My mother was once in a biker gang before she crashed her Harley Davidson into the front of a truck and dragged herself away with a shattered hip.
Hard as nails, stupid as hell. Because we can guarantee that almost any serious hospital admission won't be my family member's last, my nearest and dearest have a solemn ritual to follow.
We take bets on who's going to kick the bucket next, and I've got 20 quid riding on the smoker.
In a moment of karma, I got a phone call this afternoon informing me that one uncle had a heart attack and the other has been admitted into hospital found upside down and covered in vomit by a carer. We're currently discussing the prospect of a draw.
(, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:45, 2 replies)
Wha...?upside down and covered in vomit--what happened? Is he ok?
(, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:31, closed)
Our best bet isEpileptic fit causing him to throw himself out of bed, with the restraints on his leg holding him upside down. Then his dinner did a u-turn.
What dignity.
(, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 10:18, closed)
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