Family codes and ritualsFreddy Woo writes, "as a child we used to have a 'whoever cuts doesn't choose the slice' rule with cake. It worked brilliantly, but it's left me completely anal about dividing up food - my wife just takes the piss as I ritually compare all the slice sizes."
What codes and rituals does your family have?
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chthonic, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:05)
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Fire retardedOne more before my lunch break is over...
When I was a wee nipper of only 4 or so, we took our bi-yearly family holiday to Dorset (we're peasants), and having a bladder the size of a small acorn at the time I urgently required lavatorial attention before I ruptured.
Pulling into the service station, which given the moment in history resembled more of a cornershop than anything else, mother went on her way to secure supplies while I was left to my own devices to find the aforementioned shitter (did I mention my mother has parenting problems?). Much like the McCanns' dinner date at the tapas bar, all hell managed to break loose due to a lack of what should be legally-enforced parental supervision.
I'd found the foam fire extuingisher. It had a big label saying 'Do Not Squeeze'. I mentioned I was 4 years old, right? Remember the end of Ghostbusters where the city is covered in the remains of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man? I made that look like a minor spillage. In my childish stupidity I had given every overpriced sandwich and pointless postcard within 10 metres a pearl necklace and got an utter hiding when mother found me throwing foam at customers. The damage costs cut our holiday short by a whole week.
The family ritual now? I'm not allowed near fire retardants. I'm 21.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 14:09, Reply)
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