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This is a question Family Feuds

Pooster tells us that a relative was once sent to the shops to buy an onion, while the rest of the family went on a daytrip while he was gone. Meanwhile, whole sections of our extended kin still haven't got over a wedding brawl fifteen years ago – tell us about families at war.

(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:24)
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It's been nearly 10 years
since I last saw my mother. The abuse started early, temper tantrums if we didn't put the tins of tuna in the cupboard the right way round, make any kind of noise and you were bawled at. I'm one of three, part of a set of twins with a younger half sister (who still sees Fiona, nothing abusive ever happened to her, not that I'd wish it on anyone).

My mother would go through men like some people go through cheap shoes; one after another, using them for all their worth and moving onto the next one, then decided we needed a 'fresh start' in North-East Scotland. We moved up there in October 1998, very confusing for a couple of 10 year olds (half-sis didn't move with us, she was living with her dad by this point), and even with this fresh start the abuse didn't stop... locked in cellars, left to fend for ourselves for days on end... beatings, mental abuse... I'm still in therapy now.

Then, in April 2001, my Great Grandad died. We'd gone back down to Nottinghamshire for the Easter Holidays and didn't even know he'd been in hospital since November of the previous year. Fiona had been told but she didn't bother telling my twin or myself. He was a wonderful man, and something about his passing made my sister and I realise we finally had to tell someone what was happening.

Three months later, after a long custody battle and a stint in Foster Care, we were living with our Nan and nobody's seen or heard from Fiona much since. She went to see my Great Nana a few times, sent her a wedding photo when she married someone old enough to be her father, but that's it. I never want to see her again.

Now I live on the other side of the country because her sisters are utter mentalists too, I think there must've been some kind of radiation in the area they grew up in that's completely fucked with their heads... my Aunts moan at me, say they never see me enough... but I'm happy to cut myself off and live on the other side of the country. I see my twin and my Nan, my Great Nana whenever I can, but I've got to the point where I don't want to be around damaging people.

Sorry for lack of funnies, bit of a heart-pouring moment this morning...
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 6:38, 5 replies)
Oh yes
Good to hear you're getting sorted. It's incredible how damaging people can be and it's also incredible how much help it can be by cutting them off for a certain amount of time. Get your shit together and that. It's important to stay in touch but you've gotta look after your own health and look after number 1 for a while.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:24, closed)
Well done
and don't doubt that you're doing the right thing.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 11:05, closed)
Thank you,
both of you. Sometimes I think I'm being selfish 'hiding' myself away, but you're right, I need to get sorted out. 13 years is a long time to have to live with something like that every day.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 18:47, closed)
Sounds like you've been through hell ... I think you absolutely need to do what you need to do, you've certainly earned that right and anyone who cares about you will understand.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 20:52, closed)
*Big hugs back*
Thank you xx
(, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 13:04, closed)

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