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This is a question Family Feuds

Pooster tells us that a relative was once sent to the shops to buy an onion, while the rest of the family went on a daytrip while he was gone. Meanwhile, whole sections of our extended kin still haven't got over a wedding brawl fifteen years ago – tell us about families at war.

(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:24)
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Something happened between them, dunno what.
Apologies for the length. there is no funny side or tear jerking momet here. just a story about an unknown feud between my Mum and her Mum.

When i was about 13/14 my parents decided to split. it was more of my mums decision than my dads, however it was a relatively amicable divorce. let me give you a little background about each of my parents.

My Mum came from a very traditional family from the highlands. While i loved them, they were quite backwards in terms of family values. My mum was the middle child of the family and virtually ignored unless she did something wrong. My mum is also naturally smart, the kind of person who could skive off school most of the year, do no revision whatsoever yet still get A's in her exams. (and yes, this is exactly what she did). Her mother however could not see past the disobediance of rules and notice the obvious gift in her head. Her elder brother (apparently) was illegitimate and not my grandads son, therefore he was deemed as a lost cause and so naturally became one, disappearing in his early twenties. My mum met him a few years later and he was a junked up mess. she never heard from him after that. Her younger brother was the golden child, got away with anything he liked and was showered with praise for just about everything. In this environment, my mum learnt to provide for herself and look to her friends and their families for support (they were much more liberal). Obviously she moved away as soon as possible and began living independantly in edinburgh.

My Dad on the other hand, came from a widespread liberal family from around the country. My Gran and grandad have always been incredibly doting upon their grandchildren (me included) and i would bet money that it was similar for my dad and my aunt. This did mean though that my dad never left home and never really learnt how to fend for himself. even in his early twenties, he could come home to a nice meal cooked by his ma and have his clothes washed and ironed without having to lift a finger.

So needless to say, my Mum and Dad met, blah de blah de blah. cue 14 years later and my mums fed up of running the house, having a career and providing for a teenager with little help from my dad. they split up amicably. My mum, who had kept contact and visited regularly with her parents despite pretty much running away years ago, has to break the news to them. This does not sit well with my gran.(I should note that my grandad was a much more reasonable person but he was quiet and i believe just went with my grans decisions, wether he agreed or not) a divorce in their family, what would their neighbours and friends think? I still dont know what was said or happened between my mum and my grandparents but all that matters is they cut all contact with my mum after that. for some reason though, they increased contact with my dad, treated him almost like a third son, and through him, me. while I loved them, i couldnt get over the weirdness of the situation. my dad was pretty much everything they were against. What really took the biscuit though, was when my grandad took ill and died quite suddenly. Now, I would have thought that this event maybe would have forced my gran to speak to my mum.no. my gran called my dad and asked him to call my mum. How screwed up is finding out your dad is dead from your ex? so we went to the funeral, my mum and gran were in the same room but my gran didnt seem to want to speak to my mum. after that it went back to the same situation of no contact at all.

It has been like this ever since.

My Mums now living on her own, back on the dating scene, with mixed results. My dad found a new partner pretty quickly and they are now married. I get on really well with my stepmum and her family aswell.
I havent heard from my gran though since I moved to Uni. maybe shes doing the same thing to me...
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 20:18, 1 reply)

should add that in the ten months between my mum and my stepmum, my dad learned how to live for himself, and is now and avid houseman when not at work. constantly doing something, be it cooking brilliant shepherds pie, or DIY.
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 20:24, closed)

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