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This is a question Family Feuds

Pooster tells us that a relative was once sent to the shops to buy an onion, while the rest of the family went on a daytrip while he was gone. Meanwhile, whole sections of our extended kin still haven't got over a wedding brawl fifteen years ago – tell us about families at war.

(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:24)
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My lot
are stranger than strange and possibly certifiable.

If you wish to scroll down to a smaller and less rambling post, now is the time.

If you're still here, thanks for reading. My brother, who I've mentioned before, is a bona fide headjob. He's currently on DLA because he's managed to convince the docs that he has severe autism. He doesn't, he's just a social leper and has a raging compulsive obsessive disorder of some kind. He decided that my girlfriend was trying to be a mother to my daughter (my daughter, not hers) which is totally untrue, they're more like bestest buddies than stepmother-stepdaughter. Even if the mother bit were true it would not have been a problem, but it was the lies that she was deciding mine and my daughter's life and I was allowing an outsider to decide my daughter's future that set me off. He caused such trouble within the family saying that I was being manipulated by her about my daughter that a rift as wide as the Atlantic grew almost overnight between me and my previously close father. One that has lived for almost 2 1/2 years and shows little sign of getting better. He said and emailed some things that I won't bore you with but were so venomous and threatening that my girlfriend actually reported him to the Police. She was scared to be alone in the house in case he came round.

He has done similar to others- he came out as gay when my parents split up, no big issue for me, but he went on to become totally obsessive over every man who spoke to him, to such an extent that one ex boyfriend's employers took Police and legal action against him to stop him from contacting this guy at work. He has a record of this kind of behaviour and when he started on my girlfriend the officer looking into it told her, off the record, that they knew of him, that various forces around the UK had complaints about him (mostly involving messageboards, emails, SMS) and they were just waiting for him to cross that line when they could nick him. This happened recently and he's in a lot of trouble. Sadly I can't get involved as I think he deserves everything he's got coming. Part of me hopes he gets charged and goes down for a while, as he might then get the help he needs. Most of me reckons he'll play the disability card and get off with a slapped wrist. He'll then carry on doing the same until he causes lasting mental and/or physical damage to someone.

Anyway, my dad listened to my side of the above story (AKA the truth) a couple of months after it all kicked off- it took that long to get us together- but by this time Brother Poison had managed to convince him, probably with compulsive repetition- that she was bad for my daughter and I was Satan for living with her. He said he understood my side but I don't think he believed anything. This was 2 years ago and we still hardly talk or see each other- birthdays, Christmas, etc and even then it's really out of obligation than wanting to. He's far more interested in his new partner and her family than his own and only granddaughter; when I told him this he didn't like it and said I was wrong, out of order, etc- when I asked him why he never spent time with my daughter apart from tea one night a week yet his partner's grandchildren stayed over at weekends, went on holidays, etc, he had no real answer for me. When I suggested that perhaps it wasn't me being manipulated by my partner but him by his, he didn't like it one bit, got a bit huffy and started back on me and my girlfriend.

My mother, who I've also posted about before, left my father about 9 years ago and ran off with the neighbour. He's about 6 years older than me and looks like a fat Harry Potter with some crap teenage facial hair. She lied about seeing him for many years before and still refuses to admit she lied, even though it would probably make things easier. I know she was seeing him because someone I know told me he had called in sick because of 'an incident involving his long term partner's estranged husband', ie when my old man twatted him. I can't tell her this as the person who told me would be in trouble for leaking company info. She lied about her reasons for leaving, and when my father threatened to name fat Harry as an adulterer on the divorce papers she offered a compromise, removed her lies and they agreed on mutual breakdown reasons. I can't forgive her for her lies, I was always brought up not to lie, or if it was necessary white lies to have a damn good reason, and to confess when it was appropriate. She refuses to accept that I am now fast approaching 40 and still expects me to do her bidding. I ignore her calls and texts, and again only see her on the usual occasions- I have managed to avoid her on quite a number of my birthdays :-)

Her sister is a nasty gossip and so evil that she caused a mini rift between my best pal and I, as she decided that I had done something when I wasn't even in the town and my pal had said this. Questions were asked and fingers were pointed, I had to make the most awful call to him and ask if he had said this; when he said no I explained what had happened and who had said. We both realised she was up to no good but it put a strain on the 20-year friendship for a few weeks. All back to normal soon enough but what a bitch she is. I cross the road to avoid her now. I won't mention her bigoted drunken husband who once told a cousin's wife's family (SE Asian) they should all feck off back home and weren't welcome in his country. At their wedding. He then had full on fisticuffs with my other cousin, his stepson, to such an extent that the law were called.

If I didn't have my daughter I'd have emigrated years ago. When she's older I think she'll come with us- not long to go till she's 18 and she'll be out of here with us and better off for it.

My one fear is that I have inherited their mutated DNA and I will end up like them in years to come. My girlfriend is under instruction to make it look like a DIY accident when she kills me.

Families. The cause of more strife, heartache, headaches, stress and fights than any religion or government.

Usual expression of regret for length and lack of chuckle
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 20:22, Reply)

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