My mummy loves me...
I have no recollection of teenage holidays with my parents, as I never went with them.
Not because I hated my parents, thought them uncool or that they just didn't understand me…
Just I'd discovered masturbation and I'd rather do that for a fortnight uninterrupted.

But I do have a recollection of a holiday as little kid.
We went to Italy to the seaside and I went paddling as you do. With a inflated rubber ring around my waist.
Rubber rings make excellent floatation devices even when you've been knocked over by a wave.
Sadly, they make no distinction between waist and ankles. So ended up under the water with my legs in the air. Every time I made to stand up, the waves would come in and the ring would keep me under. Drowning.

To my mother, my brush with death was the funniest thing she'd every seen. My little legs waving in the air as her darling boy drowned. She found it so funny that she couldn't speak for laughing so hard and had to use some form of charades to get my dad to come rescue me.

20 plus years on, she still cackles like the witch she is when she recalls the event.
When the bitch starts shitting her pants I'll feel justified in finding her the worst nursing home imaginable!
( Weejock, Fri 3 Aug 2007, 9:46, Reply)