Parkie
is a prize cunt. He thinks he can defy the laws of physics and stand in front of a fucking huge wall of speakers, with a microphone in his hand (held at waist height), and talk at normal conversational levels and be heard by everyone.
Never mind the poor sound engineer (that'd be me) telling him to take a couple of steps to the side and hold the mic up, so I can turn it up a bit without it feeding back like a motherfucker. Oh no, he knows best, he's been doing this for years, he knows what he's doing,as his brown-nosing little assistant kept telling me.

Well, fuck him then, says I, millimetres from snapping point. Let him come and show me where I'm going wrong doing my job if he's so fucking clever. He's not in a TV studio now, he's in a fucking marquee, in front of 20k of band PA (note, "in front of", not "standing on stage between two forward facing stacks".)

This offer was declined, and when he finally dribbled to an end of his stint, which had been marked by everyone in that bastard marquee looking over their shoulder and telling me they couldn't hear him, the compere strode over, took the "faulty mic" from Parkie, held it up to his mouth and blew everyone's hair back (a la that old Maxell tapes advert). Yeah, you heard that, didn't you, you shower of twats.

Thus vindicated, I told all and sundry who came near that night that Michael Parkinson was a cunt and that Cecil Parkinson was a nicer person. Which is quite possibly true.
(Rsoles, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 16:23, 1 reply)

I feel your pain...
there is nothing so irritating in this world as poor mic technique and the resultant comments from the wannabe sound engineers in the audience!
(09824739yhsidfhshfgq8weeq3e1, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 21:10, closed)