Driving detour.
I was working the night shift again and the clock had finally ticked over to 6am - home time at last. I jumped in my car and sped off down the deserted streets of Cape Town, South Africa. One of the few pleasures of finishing at this ungodly hour was having the privilege of using all 3 lanes of the motorway in any way I saw fit. Zig zagging across lanes, zipping round corners and screeching tyres were the order the day as I tried to beat my personal best time on the trip home.

I was into the home straight now with only a few corners left. I was off the motorway so I needed to be a bit more attentive as I was now down to a single lane. With trees and shrubbery fast approaching ahead I sized up the road, touched the breaks and spun the wheel to get the perfect line round the corner. It was a smooth and silky exit, but wait...what's this? A road full of people - on my side of the road!! Evasive action needed to be taken, and fast. I dropped a gear and steered my chariot away from danger. It wasn't pretty, but avoiding a group of idiots walking in the middle of the road never is.

There was little time to utilise my death stare on these daredevil dawn walkers. I sped past and tried to impart some of my latent rage by revving my engine. No sooner had this large group started to diminish in size in my rear view mirror than some animated individual appeared from the bushes and waved me to the side of the road. First a group of suicide walkers and now this! Shit, that was my personal best time shot down in flames.

He had a uniform and looked official so I dutifully pulled over. He explained he was a member of the secret service and then started to berate me for my frankly reckless driving. I thought better of attempting to explain that I was on target to smash my record so I was in fact driving very well. Anyway, secret service?Secret service! Who was he fucking kidding!

His demeanour indicated he was rather pissed off. I think livid would be a more accurate description. I wasn't exactly feeling like Jesus at the last supper at this stage myself so it didn't quite sink in when he asked me, 'Do you know who you almost ran over?'
'A bunch of idiots?' I replied sarcastically.
This answer seemed irk him exponentially.

'No. Nelson Mandela!'.

I went a bit quiet as I leaned over to check my rear view mirror. There was indeed a tall black man walking amongst a group of people. My brain ticked over as I contemplated this for a second. The full reality of the situation sunk in and I realised the gravity of what I had almost done. The man seemed marginally more pleased as he watched the the colour drain from my face.

We sat there for a few moments as the large entourage approached and I was lectured on dangerous driving. I can't quite remember what was being discussed at the exact moment the worlds greatest living statesman walked past my car and gave a knowing smile. He wasn't smiling at me, but I'm sure he was having a little chuckle to himself at the young kid being berated by the cops. Well that's what I told myself anyway.

They all passed by and I sheepishly drove past him making sure that I changed gears as quietly as I could. I kept checking my rear view mirror as the sight of the Nelson Mandela walking down the road is quite something. Well it was for me at that point because all I was thinking was, shit, I almost ran over Nelson Mandela. 30 Yrs in jail and he could have ended up dead in a fireball after he's hit by a rusty toyota.

After I moved I still took a massive detour each day in the hope I'd see him going on his early morning walks near his house. I saw him once more and it made the extra 15 minutes of driving after every night shift for 6 months worth it. Say what you will, but seeing that man in the flesh gave me goosebumps.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 16:03, 3 replies)

The fucking terrorist
*runs*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 16:59, closed)

Does anyone else remember Harry Enfield's spoof of Mandela?
"Hello. I'm Nelson Mandela, former president of south africa. Do you like crack? Do you like cannabis? Then you will love my new Crackabis. It combines the heady rush of crack, with the soothing high of cannabis, so you can go completely mental! Nelson Mandela's Crackabis! Make Mandela your main dealer!"

Comedy gold, I'm tellin ya.
(Helixdaunting, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 0:15, closed)

Hell of a story
Thanks for sharing.
(FleetlordVT, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 12:42, closed)