* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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When I was a student...... After a week long diet of lager and Nottingham's finest kebabs, I had chronic stomach pains and did runny shits all day. That evening, all my friends were heading out into town again - and despite my protests at not being up to it, I was dragged along for the ride. All along the long walk to the bar I kept doubling up with cramps, but we made it and started drinking merrily away.
Stood in the middle of the absolutely packed room, chatting; about 45 mins in, I get the urge to release some gases.. I think "it's only a little one... I'll just do it here!". Genius. What followed was a long wet fart of apocalyptic proportions. The sound was pretty impressive to me, but it was drowned out by the music and talking, so it went unnoticed at first. But the smell... Christ the smell. Like a sack of dead bodies, who'd all crapped themselves. While eating nuts of some kind. It must've spread quite far across the room, as a rather large, and growing circle was beginning to clear around me as people tried to escape this stench. Girls screamed, lads groaned loudly and covered their faces with coats. I panicked, moved to the edge of the room, and pointed at Phil (who had tried harder than anyone else to get me to come drinking - sorry mate), all the while trying (and failing) not to piss myself laughing. I know, i'm an awful, smelly person, and my sincere apologies to all who witnessed this godzilla style event.
(, Sun 15 Jul 2007, 20:38, Reply)
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