Leeds Festival 2001*
Things were going amazingly well. My girlfriend, Ailsa, and I had travelled to the festival and miraculously managed to meet up with the rest of our mates on the site. A spot of land had been secured and our circle of tents erected (Imagine my delight when I saw that Ging had set his tent up to the right of me and he was also in possession of one of those metal Jack Daniels presentation cases stuffed to the brim with weed - pass the duchie on the left hand side indeed). The sun was beaming down upon us, various chemicals were already being passed round and many an ale was opened and consumed.

We partied, danced, drank, gurned, fucked and smoked our little socks off for a couple of days in bliss with only the usual minor wounds and occasional light drug freak outs (luckily nothing like the festival where J was convinced everyone was trying to kill him)

Then we went to see Green Day. Not that I'm blaming Green Day for what happened. Mike, Billie & Tré played well, we bopped about in a pharmaceutically enhanced frenzy and the band thanked us and left the stage.

We, and the thousands of other people around us, turned and began to make our way back to the campsite, merrily chatting, singing and generally being completely mullered. My mate Bucky was having a laugh with Ailsa and they were taking turns giving each other a piggy back whilst running around. Now Bucky's only a little chap whereas Ailsa enjoyed a fuller figure... this played an important part.

As Bucky was galloping along with Ailsa giggling atop him (quiet down at the back) something caused him to lose his footing. Though he valiantly attempted to keep himself upright the combination of the pace he had achieved and the lady upon him conspired to drag him earthwards, and he twisted when he fell so as to avoid face planting into the ground. This unfortunately meant that when they landed Ailsa's ankle was twisted and crushed betwixt the ground and the tumbling bodies. The sickening crack amazingly sounded over the general hubbub of thousands of unwashed and inebriated people.

Fuck! Ailsa's ankle was a mess. A mate was sent forth to summon medical help and soon a stretcher bore her to the first aid tent. Quickly it was confirmed that it was a serious bit of breakage and would require the attentions of a hospital. Great.

So there we sat for around 2 hours in the grotty first aid tent watching the various physically and mentally damaged people being brought in, generally given a cup of tea and sent on their way.

I, still pilling out of my mind, attempted to keep Ailsa's spirits up by chatting with her and dicking around in the tent until the ambulance arrived.

Oh and if I could say one thing to the kind gentleman who assessed the damage it would be "I know Bic Biro's are temperamental buggers and sometimes you do have to scribble back and forth a bit before the ink will start to flow but when you're marking an appendage so the hospital will know where the damage is, do your scribbling on a bit of paper and not on the flesh over my girlfriend's shattered ankle"

At the hospital, after many more hours waiting it was ascertained that her ankle was fucked (I believe that was the term) and would require reconstruction and loads of nice pins. The festival had ended for us.

At least so I thought. Ailsa's family drove down to stay with her while she was awaiting surgery and after debating it for a bit I was told I had to return to the festival for the last day as I needed to collect all of our possessions, pack the tent up and all that shit.

As I was leaving, Ailsa called me back to her bedside and whispered sweet words into my ear, "If you have a look in the bottom of my bag you'll find £60, a full bottle of vodka and 5 pills. Have as much fun as you can and I'll see you back in Newcastle with my bionic ankle"

With that I kissed her deeply, wished her luck for her surgery, thanked her family for coming and headed off into the night to fulfil my destiny.



*Not 2004 as I claimed in a comment on Berk's wonderful story last week. No wonder I didn't see you sitting at the back during Green Day, I was there 3 years earlier - What a cock jockey!
(Rotimer was micturating windward at, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:40, 4 replies)

your gf rules :)
did you marry her?
(rhatanu, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:52, closed)

She was ace...
...but unfortunately, due to a prolonged period of unrivalled fucktardary from myself, she lies in somebody else's loving embrace.
(Rotimer was micturating windward at, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:35, closed)

Aww, thats lully.
I thought it was a happy ending til I read your comment...ah well. Older and wiser, eh? And yeah, unless you can see through time (cool though that would be) I'm afraid I was absent that year! :)
(berk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:02, closed)

a heartwarming tale
of substance abuse and broken bones
*click*
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 6:06, closed)