Secret Garden Party 2008
Last year was my third year running at this magnificent little festy near Huntingdon. I love this festival so much its the only one I'm really bothered about not missing, its big enough to have plenty to do and small enough for you to get from one stage/tent/activity to another in a few minutes at most, (I've been to Glasto and some of the other huge festivals and spent more time walking through crowds than enjoying the entertainment).

I really can't praise it enough, its non-corporate and the organisers really go out of their way to provide a fun-filled time. I also like the fact that during the day it all seems quite sublime, not a chav in site and aside from some of the mad activites everyone is encouraged to take part in, at face-value it looks pretty straight laced for a festival. When it gets dark however, it becomes the maddest place on earth, just about everyone is on one (or two or three or more - if you know what I mean).

I digress...

I could tell a number of storys of utter mentalness from my times there but last year I caused complete mayhem and it was a bloody miracle nobody was seriously hurt. I'm not proud of what I did but in hindsight it was pretty damn funny.

One of the coolest things about SGP is the landscaping and the big lake smack bang in the middle of it. To one side of the lake there's a pagoda which has a DJ booth on it and a big wooden pier-like platform extending out over the water which acts as the pagoda dance-floor. Now this is all very nice but its a bit of a nightmare to get on and off this platform cos there's just one narrow point of access/exit to the side of the pagoda, unless you fancy a swim that is.

Anyway, its Saturday night and I'd been looking forward to seeing my favourite DJ all weekend. Adam Freeland was due to do a two hour set from the pagoda starting at midnight and despite two days of drinking, smoking, swallowing and snorting (and not sleeping) I hadn't forgotten. I got there a good half an hour early and found just the right spot to spend the next couple of hours dancing like a nutter to Mr Freelands eclectic mix of breaks and electro.

This is where it all went wrong.

As I stood listening to the mediocre dj before Adam it occured to me that the platform was getting a bit packed and that this just wouldn't do, I needed room to strut my funky stuff damn it!!
Now don't ask me why I did this but at the time my befuddled brain thought it would be hilarious to stride over to a group of 4 or 5 young ladies and pronounce with a remarkably straight-face "Oh My God! Everyone needs to get off the dance-floor, its fucking sinking!"
I then wandered away to the back of the platform to skin up and snigger to myself while looking out over the lake.

Next thing I know is there is mad panic breaking out! There are security guys on boats around the lake with loud-hailers telling everyone to get off the dance floor as quickly as possible, girls are screaming, some guy is shouting that he can't swim and there are about 200 people trying to squeeze through the 6 foot wide exit to dry land.

"Oh shit!" I think, then rapidly sober up quite considerably. I immediately remove the quite distinctive hat I'm wearing and put on the jacket I had wrapped around my waist in the hope that everyone was so wasted I wouldn't be pointed out as the protagonist. I got off there sharpish and legged it to my tent to get changed as paranoia about getting lynched was all I could think about.

If you were there and I ruined your night then I'm truly sorry but hey - I missed my favourite DJ! And I was only fucking joking!
I spent the next day shutting my companions up as they took great delight in taking the piss - I was still paranoid about someone over-hearing them and the lynch mob (or security) getting me!

PS. I'm sorry Mr Freeland - I do hope you got paid anyway!
( Twizla ...a shrew living on the edge of a bog, extinct on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 18:08, 4 replies)

I love this festival too!
Its definately all about the small festivals for me these days.

I cant attend this year though annoyingly, so will be doing Shambala instead. Another lovely small secret of a festival...
(Burt Burt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 19:00, closed)

OH and great story too!
forgot to say that :)
(Burt Burt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 19:01, closed)

I haven't got a ticket yet
but I've booked the time off work. I just hope nobody recognises me as the sinking dance-floor guy.
( Twizla ...a shrew living on the edge of a bog, extinct on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 19:30, closed)

SGP is the only festival I bother with any more too
I always think it's like the best bits of glastonbury without all the shit
( pixel_fucker is going to need a bigger brush, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:54, closed)