FIGHT!
Dr Preference wants to hear your stories about fighting. Ever started a fight? Ever seen a spectacular bar brawl? Or did you hide in a kebab shop when chased by West Ham football hoolies? The first rule of B3ta Fight Club is that you WILL talk about B3ta Fight Club.
( , Thu 14 Mar 2013, 11:04)
Dr Preference wants to hear your stories about fighting. Ever started a fight? Ever seen a spectacular bar brawl? Or did you hide in a kebab shop when chased by West Ham football hoolies? The first rule of B3ta Fight Club is that you WILL talk about B3ta Fight Club.
( , Thu 14 Mar 2013, 11:04)
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I have quite a big nose.
I found this out the moment I started school. I am also built like a streak of piss, and have the sort of face that some people love to hate.
In my early 30s, having left a stunningly crap staff Christmas party, I decided to dip into my old local in my borough of Mordor, and have a sharpener before going home.
The pub is pretty empty, and I prop up the bar with a cigarette and a pint, enjoying a quiet moment.
There is a bloke a few feet away from me doing the same.
"Oi." says bloke.
Oh god, thinks I - here we go. I ignore him.
"OI." says bloke, "OI BIG NOSE!"
This prompts me to go a bit Steve Martin on him - "Honestly?! Really?! Is that the best you can come up with?! Jesus Christ man it's pathetic! It's RUBBISH! Get some GOOD material because that's CRAP!" rar rar rar I rant on for a bit - against my better judgement, I add, as the bloke is really quite big and hard-looking.
Somewhat taken aback, the bloke initially appears to concede "Alright, mate, alright ..." and then the kicker "So, er ... do you fancy a fight?" he asks - almost coyly.
I look him up and down, "No!" I say, "You're about six foot three and built like a shit brickhouse; I'm five foot eleven and built like string! You'd KILL me!" What the fuck gives me the impression that being this shouty and aggressive to him is a good idea I don't know.
"Fair enough." says bloke, and returns to his pint and pondering.
Ten minutes later, he reaches into a pocket, and pulls out a quid.
"Here you go," says bloke, "I bet you a quid down that that bloke over there can't spell dyslexia."
Christ.
( , Thu 14 Mar 2013, 11:53, 5 replies)
I found this out the moment I started school. I am also built like a streak of piss, and have the sort of face that some people love to hate.
In my early 30s, having left a stunningly crap staff Christmas party, I decided to dip into my old local in my borough of Mordor, and have a sharpener before going home.
The pub is pretty empty, and I prop up the bar with a cigarette and a pint, enjoying a quiet moment.
There is a bloke a few feet away from me doing the same.
"Oi." says bloke.
Oh god, thinks I - here we go. I ignore him.
"OI." says bloke, "OI BIG NOSE!"
This prompts me to go a bit Steve Martin on him - "Honestly?! Really?! Is that the best you can come up with?! Jesus Christ man it's pathetic! It's RUBBISH! Get some GOOD material because that's CRAP!" rar rar rar I rant on for a bit - against my better judgement, I add, as the bloke is really quite big and hard-looking.
Somewhat taken aback, the bloke initially appears to concede "Alright, mate, alright ..." and then the kicker "So, er ... do you fancy a fight?" he asks - almost coyly.
I look him up and down, "No!" I say, "You're about six foot three and built like a shit brickhouse; I'm five foot eleven and built like string! You'd KILL me!" What the fuck gives me the impression that being this shouty and aggressive to him is a good idea I don't know.
"Fair enough." says bloke, and returns to his pint and pondering.
Ten minutes later, he reaches into a pocket, and pulls out a quid.
"Here you go," says bloke, "I bet you a quid down that that bloke over there can't spell dyslexia."
Christ.
( , Thu 14 Mar 2013, 11:53, 5 replies)
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