We lived in a house
were nobody cleaned. We'd wash up only when there was nothing left to cook in, and the paper plates and food trays had all gone.

Every inch of the radiators were draped in clothes... stiff from not having the laundry skills of a woman about the house. The tumble drier blew lint everywhere in the house.... even in the parts that we thought only the white powdery residue from the Great Fire Extuingisher Fight of 1992 could get. We didn't know that the drier had a filter. Likewise, we didn't know that vacuum cleaners stopped picking up when full.. we just thought we were shit at housework.

We had some mr sheen for cleaning the top of the Table Top Space Invader that was in the kitchen and doubled up, neigh trebled up, as an ironing board and dining table for 6.

My brother had a large deep fat frier, and I wanted to chnage my sump oil on the car. Now he'd had this device for 2 years, and never changed the fat, just topped it up. I took his frier, and emptied the oild down the grid, then used it to collect my sump oil, and then poured that down the grid too... (at this point you might say "why not just position your car over the grid?"... well, I didn't want to drop my sump bolt as happened last time.)

So when done... I give the Deep Fat Frier a rinse, fills it up with a bottle of Spry I got for it, and job done.

The ungratefull fecker complained that the new oil stopped his nuggets going how he liked them - rancid!
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:15, Reply)