My dog
On New Year's Day 1998, my father and I took the dog for a walk at the local park. He was off the leash in the designated area. From a distance we saw him enthusiastically rolling around in something. This is never a good sign so we approached with caution. The smell was unbearable. The park had hosted a New Year's Eve event the night before, and we were 100% sure that the dog had, in fact, rolled around in human shit.

On realising this, Dad was furious and began yelling at the dog. Still unleashed, the dog knew he was in trouble and presumably decided that he'd already done his dash so he might as well have a little fun. He rocketed away from us. He ran up to people and jumped up at them, and they would try to pat him until they realised there was a problem, while we futilely screamed to warn them of the danger from 200m away. He sploshed around in the muddy swamp water. I believe he even picked up a dead bird and ran around with that for a while. It was like some kind of scatological version of 'The Loaded Dog'. The large majority of those that he encountered were probably horrifically hungover. Oh, and did I mentioned that I live in Australia and it was around 30 degrees?

Anyway, Dad did the honours of cleaning it all up. I couldn't pat the bugger for a week afterwards.
(ridethefader, Sun 5 Feb 2012, 11:12, 2 replies)

You shouldn't call your dad a bugger

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 10:57, closed)

My mate's Labrador did this in fox shit in the New Forest in August 2000
It was hot weather then, too, and we had to drive back from there for an hour to my mate's house in Portsmouth in the Mazda MX5 he had at the time

It isn't often you see two humans and a labrador in a car driving along where it's the two humans who have their heads sticking out of the windows while the dog nonchalently looks dead ahead, and not the other way around.

I've still got a supersensitive nose for the little red fuckers - if hunting were still legal, they wouldn't need foxhounds to find them, they could just hire me.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 13:03, closed)