My finest hour
It was to be my dream moment.
Her name was Anna, and in sixth form she was without doubt the hottest of the hot. Long wavy blond hair, the most beautiful (huge) norks to die for/in.
I was a quiet nerdy type, (exacerbated by the new national health tortoiseshell specs I had recently acquired (thanks mum)) and finding myself in the lunch queue next to her was a (wet) dream come true.
Note; My specs were bifocals, and as any of you who have had to wear them will know, there is a blind spot where the two lenses meet. I tried the crappy small talk, but as per usual she feigned disinterest.
After the dinner lady slopped her wares on our trays it happened.

She dropped her knife.

Here was my moment. In a show of gallantry I could win her over. I balanced my own tray, bent down and picked up the cutlery. As I went to place it on her tray I looked in her eyes, those grateful eyes that would no doubt take me to heaven.

My sweaty shaking hand reached out as did my smile and my heart, and plunged the knife (sideways fortunately) into her ample cleavage. Her grateful smile dissipated along with any chance of me finding my breasty heaven. She went to sit at the cool table. I went into a stupor.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:17, 6 replies)

Next time, warm the knife up first
it's the difference between having an ice cube dropped down your back or...something warm. Let's go with chocolate here.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:19, closed)

Sadly
she had one of those lovely school jumpers on and there wasn't much on display that day.
*gets tissues*
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 17:14, closed)

"She went to sit at the cool table. I went into a stupor."
This story reads like an old folk song.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:22, closed)

*Starts putting pen to paper*
Just need a name for it now! Been a while since I wrote a song.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 17:13, closed)

Ha !!!
This is great !!!
( SpankyHanky, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 17:22, closed)

Aha
Thank you. Praise from the master himself!

(Oh, and "How YOU doin?)
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 17:41, closed)