Another bored at uni story...
During a regular hungover day hanging around in our student flat, it was decided that we'd had enough of living in what was effectively a bin.

The rotting chicken giblets on the floor needed to be removed, the furry wok that was last used a month previously needed a small scrub, the variety of now-green foodstuffs in the fridge had to go, the fridge itself needed to be fumigated, and the 9 months of daily grease needed to be extracted from the oven.

Out came the 4th hoover of the year after the others had all been broken, and an attempt to somehow clean the carpet and six sofas we had arranged around the room (for duvet days obviously) needed to be made.

The 'boob wall' was to be taken down, and the rotting mango juice from 'the mango fight of 05' had to peeled from the walls, along with the various tea bags stuck to the wall in a random game of 'who can get a tea bag to stick to the wall for the longest'.

After a heroic attempt at all the above, the 4 of us brave warriors decided a sit down was in order, and my good friend Mark decided it was time for his Iceland meal of the day.

Now Mark is a peculiar character, and has his ways and methods of doing things. For instance, he would always eat the bulk of his healthy meal, have a brew and a cig, then go back for the chips and peas.

It was at this point, whilst we were sat down around the telly, that he had his little break and the food sabotage occured.

Sat next to him, and with the hoover still in close proximity, I wondered just how powerful the suction was on this particular model.

Very, the answer quickly appeared to be.

In the space of a few seconds, the lit cigarette, a mug full of coffee, and a plate full of peas and chips had all been devoured by the unlikely destroyer in my hand.

His face went from utter content to extreme panic as his 3 loves were taken from him in the blink of an eye.

Then we had to get hoover number 5, they don't appreciate liquid inside them. Messes with the electronics I guess...
(gin'll fix it, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 19:15, 6 replies)

er....
....do i live with you??
(Ryuken-Kai, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 22:07, closed)

Dare I ask...
...Boob wall?

Also, what make was this great destroyer? Cos I think I need to invest in this in case my housemates piss me off...
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 23:09, closed)

That
made me laugh too loudly for this time of night.

(Sorry neighbours!)
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 3:47, closed)

The boob wall
was a collection of page 3 'babes' cut out of the paper and covering a whole wall in our flat, then we added male faces to most of them. Highlights were a creepy looking Derren Brown and Sven Goran-Eriksson. Strangely attractive still!

Trying to find some pics but i'm at work so can only get the phones of fbook...

@Ryuken - haha I don't think so, did you live in Preston?

Ooh, found some pics of the filth, not at its peak but still pretty horrible. Wish I could find the giblets pic.

i38.photobucket.com/albums/e123/tomo2006/n538136773_78002_436.jpg

i38.photobucket.com/albums/e123/tomo2006/n538136773_77997_9205.jpg

i38.photobucket.com/albums/e123/tomo2006/n515050974_78193_2283.jpg

The last one was when we dragged all our mattresses and bedding into the lounge and lived in there for a week...
(gin'll fix it, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 10:38, closed)

Ah the boob wall
We called ours the wall of porn. House rules were you could take any pic off so long as you replaced it with something suitably smutty (and preferably only sticky on the back).
(Milo Minderbinder, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 11:52, closed)

This...
...is why I live alone. Other students disgust me. :)
(Holloway_Girl To err is to be human, to be a fool is to believe, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 21:33, closed)