The Strike of "The spice Man!!"
Two summers back, me, and 30 or so of people I went to school with decided to go on a camping trip in celebration of completing our final year of compulsory education. The decided camp site happened to be on a pub's field, which I lived next door to (and by next door I mean it was the closest building to my house which is 1/4 of a mile away).

So the day came around, I had instructed my friends to walk down to my house once they had arrived, and we'd take some logs from my garden up to the field. As you can imagine with there being around 30 people, there was a blatant social divide, (me and my friends made up only around 30% of this divide), so at 7 O'clock there was a knock on the door and 8 or 9 people waiting on the step, we pick up the wood and start to walk up to the field. "where's Mitch" I ask along the way,
"Ah we left him in the tent to look after the food and booze, in case 'the others' try anything".

So we arrive at the site, where Mitch informs us that two people from "The other group" did in-fact, try to enter the tent, not knowing he was in there. "The fucking bastards! did they say anything Mitch?"

"Just said 'oh sorry wrong tent' and then left!"

"Bollocks, they thought they were in the wrong tent! They we're trying to steal our drink".

We were livid and wanted to do something, but we were smaller in numbers, and it was Mitch's word against theirs, so we said and did nothing about it.

So later that night 'The other group' got a phone call from a friend who had just arrived at the near by train station, and didn't know how to get to the pub, so rather than give directions, they decided to walk to the station and collect them. So off they went to the station (and no exaggeration ALL of them went, why it takes 20 odd people to collect 1 person from a train station I have no idea). This was our chance to strike revenge, the original plan was just to try and drink their booze before their return, but me and my close friend Aaron had a much more sinister idea! "Guy's wait a minuet, if they come back and see that we've drunk their alcohol, they'll just get pissed and take ours, we have a better idea........" Aaron announced to the group. The plan, was to spike their drink with hot sauce, not just any hot sauce, but Fucking rip your head off, descend into Dante's ninth circle, and stare in eyes of Lucifer himself, hot sauce!!! This was one million scoville hot sauce (for those of you who don't know 'scoville' is the measurement of the heat of chillies, Tabasco sauce is a mere 2,500). So with the plan in place we set it into action...

Aaron and I made haste back to my house where we put a few drops of the stuff into a small tupperware pot, while the rest of our group scuttled through "The other's" drink in search of a suitable bottle. Upon our return Mitche passed us an unopened bottle of white wine, Aaron smeared the sauce all around the rim of the bottle and hurried back into their tent and put the wine bottle back in place. We all agree that we will all take the fall no matter how smaller part we played in the operation, and then got back to grilling sauseges.

Eventually "The others" returned, we waited for it........ and waited for it......... "any second now".........
"They'll get to that bottle soon!"......... "Aaron you DID put all of on there right?"........
"Would the spicy-ness of it be diluted by the wine?"..........
"maybe they just put up with it not to give us the satisfaction!"..........


And then finally after two hours of anticipation..... "Oh my God!!!!! *cough* THERE'S FUCKING *cough* SOMETHING IN THAT WINE *cough* *gag* WHAAAAAAAA" Sophie, ones of the girls from "The other group" had took a swig of the wine, and was now panicking that there was poison in it and was now crying partly through panic, mainly through pain (Ok so I do feel a little bad that we made her cry). Me, not being the best person to keep a straight face, ran off trying to hide my laughter.

Once I had calmed down I returned and by this time mass panic had set in, Sophie was still crying and now with a small red rash around her lip's and her friend Bex was going through peoples bags, Ash (Bex's boyfriend) had figured it was us, and surprisingly found it hilarious and was playing along with it. The rest of the guy's from "The other group" were tasting the wine trying to figure out what was in it, some wincing in pain others exclaiming "That's fucking LSD someone's put in there" and
"That tastes of nicotine" (seriously nicotine? c'mon) and Emma (bit of a drama queen) was telling people that she'd seen gypsies on the field next door (which there weren't) and she could swear she saw "A man in the bushes holing a testube and laughing" (which she hadn't.....I hope).

Amazingly most of the cretins believed Emma's bull shit story about "The Spice Man" and sat huddled in their tents terrified that A gypsy would turn up and force feed them hot sauce.

unfortunately we had to come clean in the end because Bex wanted to call the police on this imaginary chillie based, now super villain.

The moral of this story is, don't go in other peoples tents or "The Spice Man" will hunt you down, and spice you!!!
(Madlyinsane, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 21:21, Reply)