The Snot Rocket Salad
Before I knew what I wanted to do with my life I ended up at catering college.

The lecturer was a complete and utter arsehole (Alan Jenkins, Hereford College of Technology) A stereotypical angry shouty chef but with an extra portion of sarcasm and spite.

Not exactly helpful when you are meant to be teaching people how to do stuff but hey ho, he hust expected us to be able to do everything already "what do you mean you have never made pate before?".

Alan if you are by some miracle you are reading this ... you have eaten quite a lot of my snot and phlegm. In soups, Beef Wellington, Hot Cross Buns (that I taught YOU how to make)
And I think you are a cunt, but thank you, if it wasn't for you I would have ended up being a miserable chef bastard like you.

Also my Missus fed Marzipan fruits to her ex who claimed to have a nut allergy "to see what would happen" but I don't know if that counts
(Barry Chuckle has gone out in the thong to feed the pigeons, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 12:59, Reply)