I'm not proud....
Whilst at secondary school doing GCSEs, I had to the most poisonous Art teacher known to man.

We never saw eye-to-eye, mainly because her idea of teaching ME art (as the opposite of her teacher's pet, rather like her teacher's hemarrhoid) was to get me to run silly errands for her.

One day, she asked me to make her coffee whilst I was trying to complete a final exam-piece clay sculpture. Freshly taken out of the kiln, I was sanding that mother down to make it all baby's bumesque. I bet you can't guess where the clay filings went? Yep. Right into the Kenco.

The teacher was off school for a week with some severe unaccounted for sickness. And I found God praying on a daily basis that she wouldn't snuff it.

She still deserved it though, but that's the first and only time I ever tampered with food. Haven't got the nerves for it!!

EDIT: And some of the stories on here make me wonder how some people aren't in jail for murder!!!
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)