sausage tiem!
as children, my brother and i(not to mention our 2 sisters) had a fully justified dislike of our father.
one evening, mum had to pop out for an hour but, before she left, she told us not to touch the sausages in the fridge, they were for dad's tea.
as soon as she was out of the door, my brother ran to the fridge and grabbed one of said sausages.
what followed was some form of perverse juvenile sex show, with my brother hanging the sausage out of his fly, sticking it down his boxers, rubbing it all over his bits, pretending to wank it and generally making me almost laugh my tits off.
after about 10 minutes of this, we suddenly heard dad talking to the next-door neighbour. quick as a flash, my brother tidied up the sausage as best he could, then slipped it back into the fridge.
watching my father eat that sausage was more than either of us could bear. after the first bite, we both had to make our excuses and run before our laughter gave the game away.

he still doesn't know.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 16:21, Reply)