pink peril
i was a child and my parents had invited other grown ups round for dinner. it was really boring. all they did was drink and talk and the food looked weird. it took them hours to eat and i wasn't allowed to watch telly. i couldn't wait for dessert any longer, so i asked mum if i could have some of the strawberry mousse. she was busy talking and nodded to me absently, waving her hand, so i helped myself. there's was a big, fat grape on top so i helped myself to that too. dessert was the best thing to have happened that night so i got the biggest spoon i could find and piled it high with strawberry mouse. i balanced the grape carefully on the top and crammed it all into my mouth.

being quite young, i have no idea what language i could have had at the time to describe the sheer horror of what filled my mouth. it was not sweet, creamy fruitiness. it was as though everything that had once been alive in the oceans had shat themselves simultaneously, then died, sank to the bottom, rotted for a few months, then got scraped up, pureed with mayonnaise and finally served at our table with a grape on top. the grape! maybe the fresh, watery slightly sharp taste of the grape would neutralise the foulness rotting in my mouth. i bit down. dear god no it didn't. it didn't burst open like a grape. it squidged, like i imagined a slug would. and the liquid that oozed out was like some kind of toxic slick. the flesh ground itself between my teeth and smeared all over my tongue. i ran screaming from the room in a spray of pink, up the stairs and into the bathroom and threw up into the toilet. i was still convulsing in bed that night.

some years later i found out it was taramasalata and an olive, which is the exact opposite of strawberry mousse and a grape. she could have bloody told me.
(threadkiller, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 16:37, 4 replies)

thats friggin harsh!
olives - eeeeuuuurrrrggggghhh.

anti-strawbs indeed
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Fri 19 Sep 2008, 16:43, closed)

Aww
A clicky for being so cute.

And for "taramasalata and an olive, which is the exact opposite of strawberry mousse and a grape" which is still making me giggle.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 16:47, closed)

Heehee
I will this use this story in the pub tonight. clicks ho!
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 16:57, closed)

Clicky!
I like your tale, and send pity waves back through time, though those are two of my favourite munchable things now.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 17:09, closed)