More library tales
Every Thursday we have a bunch of old folk and "specials" turn up for what are called "health walks". They meet in the library, all wear spcaker day-glo backpacks and go off walking for an hour and come back. For reasons never clearly explained to me we are expected to put on hot water, tea and biscuits for them. I could tolerate this, if they were particularly nice people.

Unfortunately the walk leader is an old, sinewy lady who is a spiteful, stuck up, rude shitsniffing bastardface. She quite often treats the staff like idiotic waiters, demanding this, that and the other, apparently forgetting that our job is...y'know, books and stuff.

Because of this, the following things have been added to/dipped into the jugs of water we give them.

- Spit (obviously)
- Condoms (dipped)
- Eraser pens (dipped)
- A teeny bit of vodka
- A fingernail
- A fart
- A little washing up liquid.

The thing is, since most of them are incoherent and drooling anyway, there's no way of telling if these additions are having any effect. Oh well.

Hellward bound...I wish I was...hellward bound
(GONEism, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 17:16, 4 replies)

Just 'cos
the leader is a cunt it's not the fault of the spakkers. Poor bastards have enough to put up with, being spakkers an all.

Just curious, how the fuck do you get "a fart" in there???
(Mr.Dog was in love again on, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 17:33, closed)

You
sit on the jug, fart and stick the lid on quickly. And you make a good point about the spackers, but they usually got ribena. I'm not THAT evil.
(GONEism, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 23:41, closed)

watch out Mr Dog,
You're talking to a librarian who finds an old woman too much to confront. Clearly not someone to be crossed.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 23:54, closed)

No offence to the OP, but
this made me laugh a lot.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 22:04, closed)