I can try
...but an act of supposed barbarity such as that will probably result in me being forced to shit in my own food. This house runs on a quasi-socialist ideology, founded on Nazi doctrine. We share, even if it kills us. Good suggestion though, he needs to lose some weight.

Personal suggestion: add some soap to his food, as a reminder to shower more than once in three weeks?
(Tiktock Beating off flamers with a shitty stick, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 18:52, Reply)