no strictly sabotage... but pretty impressive fail nonetheless.
i was dating a rather pretty but ultimately rather unsuitable bellydancer girl.
having woo'd her with my culinary prowess, she decided to reciprocate and cook me dinner (i'm no gary rhodes but i do DAMN good italian and lethal chilli)
i turned up as she was cooking.

you know when you're watching something absolutely mesmerised by the wrongness of it, unable to look away? now combine that sensation with the sure and certain knowledge that failure to keep your mouth shut and smile will SURELY result in being denied the chance to 'baste her turkey' and you're close to what motivated me to not only WATCH, but consume the product of this unholy union:

boil water
add pasta
dice onion
(this is where it gets weird)
ADD onion TO water/pasta and BOIL until soggy
slop mess into colander
add a half pot of co-op tangy salsa dip (chilled)
grate a clove of raw garlic into mix.
add parmesan
serve.


jesus it tasted like boile3d frenchman's socks.
interesting fact- boiling onions seems to amplify their notorious gaseous properties to a near untenable level.
this does not help when trying to get your end away, neither does raw garlic breath or a stomach full of the revolting slop.
length? she lasted 3 months.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 8:56, 2 replies)

I know just what you mean
Car crash cookery!

Not quite as bad as yours, but I watched a housemate cooking chilli at one point (I didn't have to eat it, fortunately) and complain that there was too much liquid in the mix. Rather than reducing it, she poured the whole lot into a sieve and drained off the tasty, tasty juice.

She later whinged that it was too dry and emptied the kettle into it, then complained again that it was bland. Clueless. This person also failed to see a problem with wiping the floor with a tea towel and then putting it back on the clean dishes.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:00, closed)

ugh
I can see where this went wrong. I frikkin hate parmesan.
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:01, closed)