Totalled
This is pretty timely.....

My Nan died recently, just over a month ago - devestated still, but you always seem to see the funny side of things.
It was the day of the funeral, and the cortege was late by fifteen mintues. My mum was just about to phone then, when there was a knock at the door. The funeral director looked ashen, and was shaking. He said "I'm so sorry we're late, but I have to show you something." He led us round the corner, where we were confronted with the hearse, one limosine which had a huge dent in the boot, the one behind it had a smashed grill, a bent bonnet and a concertina'd boot.

Apparently as the cortege were turning into my road, an articulated lorry had crashed into the back limo, which had bumped into middle one, which was then shunted into the third. The hearse was mercifully unscathed. "So where's the third?" asked my dad, but by this time everyone was getting ready in their own cars to go. As we drove away, with me and my brother in the second limo with the concertina'd boot, we turned out of our road and onto the main dual carriageway. As we drove slowly down, we saw the solitary figure of an undertaker standing by what can only be described as a rectangle - the twisted and mangled remains of the third limo, with the poor driver waving at us, thoroughly embarrassed as we drove past.

After the funeral, our driver was talking to the head undertaker. As I got into to limo, I heard the immortal words, "Thank God it didn't hit the hearse - we'd have never got her out."

I couldn't stop laughing, imagining them trying desperately to dismantle the car in order to winch the my nan out - she would have laughed her ass off.
(Funty, Mon 15 May 2006, 19:02, Reply)