'A bet's a bet'
College Bar, 2002, about 9:30 in the evening after a long day on the sauce. Packed, sweaty, smoke-fugged... the odour of cigarette smoke occasionally giving way to a hint of sweat and beer spilt from plastic glasses. 'Bring the Noise' on the jukebox on heavy rotation with the other favourites, 'Ace of Spades' and 'Welcome to the Jungle'. God I miss it...

Anyway, it's me and my housemates with some friends of ours and their housemates, two of whom are fairly good-looking girls. A few of us have decided to play darts even though we're now so uncoordinated that in a bar this busy we're putting other drinkers in serious peril by even trying to to toss the tungsten.

Anyway, we're playing doubles and eventually, finally, after much terrible darts, we get down to a score where we can potentially checkout. However, it's 50. Shit.

I know have a massive mental block on the bull, so I try and get a 10 to take it down to double 20, but I hit outside the rim three times. One shot doesn't even hit the backboard and I have to pull the dart out of the wood of the window pane. I'm starting to think I need to go home after this game's done.

My partner Dave steps up to the oche, and looks at the board for a long moment.

'Bullseye... I'll have that. In fact, I'll have it first shot.'

Everyone reacts, even people near enough to hear who aren't in the game. No one believes he can do this. He's a good player, but he's so far gone that when he took his previous shot he actually had to lean on me to steady himself. Inevitably, bets are offered.

'Tenner says you can't'
'I'll buy you a shot if you do.'
'No fucking way - no way. tenner says no'
'If you get that, I'll shag you'

Now, the last one's got his interest, since it's one of the girls who live with our mates. The other one pipes up...

'Ha - me too.'

It's quickly established that he has no money so will not actually accept any financial bets, but the girls are still joking with him about the shag.

'So if I get it, we're off, right?'
'Yeah. of course. If you can get that you'll deserve it.'

He shrugs, he turns to the board. There's a pause as he adjusts slightly, but you can tell he's in the mode. If you've played darts, you'll know you can't be too methodical - you spend too long thinking about your shot and it kills you. You have to just take a moment then go with it - any second-guessing is fatal.

He brings the dart up and throws in one liquid motion and it seems like an age as everyone swings their line of sight from the man to the board. There it is. Bullseye.

Everyone is laughing, clapping, offering drinks, but even though the deed is done, he's still in a different mode. He looks at the board for a second then turns round to face us.

'You and you, get your coats, now.'

They're laughing. Everyone's laughing. Except him. He's not laughing. He walks over to the girls.

'Seriously, we're leaving'
'Ha - come on, we'll get you a drink.
'No time'
'Come on, the night is young. Have a pint'
'I won a shag'
'It was only a joke mate'
'It might have been to you, but a bet's a bet....'

Shit. He's serious. What now?

The laughter has subsided. Most people have gone back to their chats after the drama, but there's a small crowd of us standing around in awkward silence, then he states his case.

'A bet's a fucking bet, and if you're not both sucking my cock in the next half hour, you're fucking liars. So we're leaving.'
'Erm...'
'You coming?'
'Erm...no, I don't think we are.'
'Oh, fuck you both then.'

And he went home. Next day, no mention of this and apparently no recollection when we brought it up.

The girls didn't come out with us again....
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:04, Reply)