Oh... dear...
Was out in Camden for a night of drinkies and general arsing about with some mates a while back. Met up outside the tube, strolled over to the Worlds End for some of the finest skull attack beverages money can buy, and then we took it from there.

We'd all decided, as a bet, to dress up as goths - the best dressed getting a cool twenty quid for their trouble. Well, it was Camden and we were bored.

Easy enough for me to do: chuck on some black jeans, black t-shirt, look a bit sad - hey presto. But some of my straight-laced mates looked a real fucking state. It was like a Danzig reunion. There were also some people turning up who I didn't know.

We were sat at a table at the Elephants Head, sipping whisky and talking utter bollocks, when the door opens and in comes a twat who looked like Tim Burton's younger brother, right down to the chains linking the trousers together and the type of hair you could only sculpt after jamming your fingers in the electricity socket for a few minutes.

"There's my mate, Phil," said my mate Steve. "He's an accountant. God, he's made the effort."

Now, I didn't know Phil - but I had to go and congratulate him on winning the bet for looking like the biggest twat in the world.

I went up to Phil.

"God, mate - I don't know you, but you look like the biggest twat in the world, put it there and let me buy you a drink," and I extended my hand.

And Phil called me a: "fucking cunt," and stormed out the pub in a cloud of hairspray and woodbines.

I went back to my seat a little bemused.

Steve said nonchalantly: "Errr, Spanky - I was pointing to that bloke over there," and he pointed out a bloke standing by the bar in a suit looking a bit uncomfortable who must've come in moments before. "Hi, Phil," said Steve, who then turned to me and said: "When I said he'd made the effort I was being sarcastic, dickhead."

And he sipped his pint.

And I sipped my pint.

And I spent the rest of the evening hoping I wasn't going to get my head kicked in by the dark, somewhat effeminate protectors of Camden Town.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 12 May 2009, 17:36, Reply)