A freind of mine, Jeff, from university...
was hanging out with a bunch of us at the pub, when during a pause in conversion he suddenly exclaimed "oh shit!" loudly in relief, apparently a propos of nothing. Everyone looked at him quizzically, he breathed out slowly, then began his explanation.

3 nights earlier, he, and all of us, had been out for a night of drink and massive drugs. Sometime in the wee hours, we'd been high and larking about in public streets, when we were approached by a lonesome police officer who made it his business to harsh our buzz and started demanding we empty our pockets as he began his search for narcotics. One of us (I don't remember who) pulled out a knife and stabbed him. To death. One of us stabbed this innocent police officer to death. Then we all agreed to walk different routes home and never to speak of it again.

Now, as you have no doubt realised, the above night of drink, drugs, hijinks, and murder never actually took place, except in the my friends head when he dreamed it, but the daft bastard had woken the following morning and remembered the dream as though it was reality. He spent the next few days wondering (1) if he was going to be arrested, (2) why no-one else seemed slightly concerned (3) how to come to terms with the guilt.... And he only cottoned on when he realised it couldn't have happened because some of our group had been miles away on the evening in question.

Here's to you Jeff, you literally thought we murdered a cop and somehow got away with it, and despite all the guilt you felt, you soldiered on and didn't dob anyone in. You legend!
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 8 Aug 2017, 19:27, 2 replies)

FREIND

(dozers You big spazzer!, Wed 9 Aug 2017, 22:00, closed)