The Warranty has Expired
In the last 5 years, since I turned 50, I've had the following:

1) heart operation (faulty mitral valve)
2) Hernia operation
3) brain surgery (removal of cavernous malformation - a blood vessel bleeding into my brain)
4) removal of dermoid cyst behind my eye.

All of these were problems with the body caused BEFORE I WAS BORN. So I'm not getting old, but all of the manufacturer's defects are now catching up with me.

No, fuck it - I'm an old bastard.
(Maclir, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:10, 4 replies)

You make it sound like you're some sort of Soviet car.
Maybe it was just your fate to be a Lada.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 4:20, closed)

A Trabant?
Aren't they made of cardboard? Keep on trucking, but sound a bit iffy
.
( Ken Oath, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:08, closed)

Don't know enough about the genetics of 1, 3 & 4 to comment.
Mate having had a couple - hernias just mean you're over-doing it.
Get a better mattress and try doggy style I say.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:52, closed)

I wish that had been the cause - no, it was installing a new ceiling light, standing up on a ladder, holding the fucker while trying to attach the wires, fix the bracket to the mounting box... You needed six arms, all with the strength of a titan and the dexterity of a soviet girl gymnast.
(Maclir, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:04, closed)