Lack of ambition…

Apart from turning into your parents, the worst thing about getting older is the crushing realisation that you no longer have a droplet of donkey snot’s chance of a beautiful, famous woman allowing you to prod around the gateway to her guts with your pink giggling stick.

Of course, it’s never really a possibility anyway, but there is no denying the biological fact that, should a borderline miracle of circumstance put you in contact with somebody fit-a-licious, you are within the commonly acceptable age range parameters for it to be ‘considered’… albeit briefly…

This gives you hope. It gives you a reason to brush your hair in the morning.

But here’s the problem. You get older, but the hotties on the screen stay the same age forever, and before long you watch them and start to feel slightly awkward…like you shouldn’t have the horn quite so hard for somebody who for all intents and purposes could be your daughter.

And then it hits you. You.are.a.dirty.old.man. You’re doomed. Fucked.

Welcome to my world.

I suppose it’s just a matter of time before I’m watching Dame Thora Hird, slowly crossing her legs as she struggles aboard a stairlift on a advert for Stannah, and my lamb cannon inadvertently gets so rigid that it could chop the 'Star of India' diamond in half.

*sighs*
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Tue 5 May 2009, 12:00, 1 reply)

I...
...know and share your pain.

Have a click in solidarity, brother!

*click*
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Tue 5 May 2009, 15:30, closed)