Last one for now then
At school, there was a massive clampdown going on on the new network the school had installed at great expense (which the headmaster obviously never realised would have to have its hardware updated almost yearly), due to the overwhelmingly large number of emails sent to the entire school saying things like 'bum,' or 'Borland fancies Mrs Drummond'. And porn, because teenage boys are resourceful little wankers (hence the reduction in the number of computers in the lockable room in the sixth form centre), and during this clampdown someone thought it would be funny to send a shitload of donkey porn to my email account, which I would get into trouble for apparently.

Unfortunately my best friends little brother has the exact same name as me, so they had to pick the right one from the email list, so they had the pick of 'thePontificator' or 'thePontificator (S1)'. As i was in S3 at this point, they chose the latter. Unfortunately someone at the computing dept. had got as mixed up as they were and labelled my email account as the S1 one.

Confused? Everyone fucking was. He got a stashload of donkey porn, I got emails from 1st year girls telling me they fancied me.

Either way, he won, especially after explaining to the computing department that being sent donkey porn by email was not the same thing as actively looking for it yourself.
(thePontificator, Mon 13 Feb 2006, 0:58, Reply)