Smashing
My other grandad made it into the local paper once because he got into a drunken fight and pushed someone through a shop window, the best part was that he thought he'd murdered them because one of the shop dummies had been broken in half.

He once went on holiday with his mates without telling my grandma first. He just left a note saying "gone away, please feed tomatoes".

He also has been banned from my local Wetherspoons 3 times for arguing with the bar staff for not pouring pints properly. (in his defence he used to own a pub)

He nearly got into trouble for shouting "Sit down! You obviously weren't made in St Helens" to some asian people at a rugby match. He didn't mean it in a racist way, he meant that they weren't made of glass so he couldn't see the pitch.

He also pronounces Chinese as 'Cha Knees' He pronounces cheese as 'chaze' and has many other words that are of no local slang/accent despite living in Atherton for most of his life and then moving to near Blackpool.
(bamslower i like cheesecake..., Mon 6 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)