The law of "one more time"
Anyone who has spent time near small children knows that when you tell them to stop doing something, they will always do it one more time just to spite you because the little fuckers love working your last nerve. That one more time is the sweetest moment for things to go wrong, and makes a child's pain my pleasure.

- My sister was twirling around in the bathroom, and my mom told her not to because it was dangerous. One more twirl... the bath mat slipped out from under her feet and her arm went into the toilet up to her shoulder.

- My friend's toddler was headbanging at the dinner table for no good reason. After repeatedly warning him to cut it out and eat his food, my friend finally yelled at him. He stopped, made eye-contact for a second, and headbanged one more time. *SMACK* forehead meets wood.

- Same child was jumping back and forth from the couch and armchair. While my friend told him off and asked him to get down, he squatted and took his final leap. It didn't work out so well for him, as he tripped and slammed his head into a corner, requiring three stitches.

- At the motel pool, a young boy kept running around. His mother yelled "don't run near the pool" and two steps later the kid slipped and fell on his ass. He got back up like a champ, and started running again. His mom yelled "damn it, Billy, don't..." and right then he fell on his ass again.

- A four-year-old daughter of some friends of the family was running around making a general nuisance of herself, so they told her to sit down and mellow out. Instead, she ran up to my dad and bit him on the knee, causing a literal knee-jerk reaction. He kicked her, she fell on her butt, and my whole family cracked up laughing at her. (Her parents luckily had not witnessed the kicking, but were confused by us laughing at their crying child)

Moral lesson: listen to your mom. She has powers.
(Exempt OH WOW, VICODIN, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 0:22, 2 replies)

Sopping-up every last bit of schaedenfreude gravy...
LOVED IT.

Little fuckers have to learn somehow, right?
(AnntichristSCoulter, Sat 24 Jul 2010, 3:08, closed)