Oh a quick one...
...and this only happened last week.

As you may or may not know, I have the honour, nay privelege of working on th'ambulance.

Last week, we were called to a Granny Farm (or rest home, as I believe it is also known) for an elderly lady who had a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). Any of you who know about elderly people will known that UTI's tend to make them battier than Robin's underwear.

As we go through the front door of the care home, we hear a screaming which sounds like someone has read the Top Ten Medieval Tortures and is really going to town trying them out.

It was my turn to attend on this job (you swap between driving and attending after each job), but we have a rule called the Joker Card. Once a day, you are allowed to play the Joker Card, but it must be played before you see the patient. The conversation went thusly:

Me: "Joker Card"
Crewmate: "Oh you fucking bast....hello there!"
Carer: "Here's Josephine."
Josephine: "AAAGAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGH!!!! NOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME. YOU'RE ALL TRYING TO KILL ME"
Crewmate: (sotto voce) "Bollocks"
Me: Mmmmmppppppphhhhhhhhhhhnnkkkkhnnkpphhhhhhhhhh.....

Guilty laughter all the way to hospital. On the backroads, of course!
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Sat 24 Jul 2010, 17:19, 4 replies)

Joker card!
That is excellent-I'm going to use it.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 24 Jul 2010, 19:52, closed)

At least we're not the only ones... Although as A&E docs we use the gold standard Rock, Paper, Scissors, Dynamite.
(suxamethonium, Sun 25 Jul 2010, 1:00, closed)

Dynamite?
That's one I've never heard before, but will use at the first opportunity.
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Sun 25 Jul 2010, 3:11, closed)

I think
Therapeutic use of your username is always a winner!
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Sun 25 Jul 2010, 12:24, closed)