I see deaf people...
I can't help it....
I'm a sick man.....
send me to hell....

But I laugh (uncontrollably) at the way deaf people speak.

The episode in Glee where the deaf kids sing Imagine, oh how I laughed.

or the time I worked at the Disability Rights Commission, I always left meetings with a contorted face, trying to hold the laugh in.

I even know how to sign - this doesn't make it better, I'm truly a bad man.

Worst of all (and this does send me to the 5th circle of hell) was the time I pretended to be a deaf person...

I was in this pub that had a very strange queuing rule - a straight line that started at the centre of the bar and worked its way through the pub, each side of this queue were empty bar spaces. So I staggered up to one of these empty bar spaces, without any consideration for the queue and proceeded to wait there until the barmaid asked me what I would like to drink.

During this waiting period, some patron was shouting at me "the queue is here mate" etc etc. This went on for some time, until this idiot came over, tapped me on the shoulder and said..

"Are you deaf or what? the queue for drinks is back there not here!"
I immediately turned around and in a deaf person's voice/accent said "Sorry I can't hear you, I'm deaf". The look on the guys face (as I also accompanied the statement with sign language) was priceless.
(bigbear45 scousers are the barnacles of society, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 15:25, 2 replies)

Oho!
That was evil. I wish I knew how to sign so I could do that!
(TheWonderfulWombat It came to me in a dream., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 20:36, closed)

Ticket to Hull please....
only I don't know who it should be for, you for actually doing this, or me for standing in front of the bathroom mirror trying my hand at said accent/face combo.....

Good work!! Did you get served before that utter twunt?
(Anne Frank started to build a loft conversion on, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 7:54, closed)