Eek.
Err, right...When I was 10, I threw a toy at my three year old sister whilst pretending to be a ninja, it hit her in the face - I told Mum that she'd "ran in to the tree". She still bears the scars.

During a session of baby sitting (my sisters) the biggest fucking spider I'd ever seen emerged. To equal the size of the spider, I obtained the knife equivilent. My Dads ceremonial Arabian knife from when he worked in the army in Oman. I slashed away at the bastard for about ten minutes around the house, to find that the curtains were somewhat damaged...Thankfully I knew that Mum was washing them the next day so I "helped" her take them down ("Aw, thanks for this Beatpig" she said) She also must have forgotten about them, because about ten years later, she got them out whilst I was there...I nearly shit myself, but heard her say "Oh, look at these, some moths have got to these lovely curtains". Big fucking moths Mum. Oh, and I missed the spider completely.

Mum, You know that stain of tea on the hallway ceiling that Hannah confessed to? She was four, I was fourteen and it was me.

Hazel, my ex when you went to the Lakes to "find out whether you loved me or not" and left me to feed your cat? Well, I didn't and when I eventually went around two days later to find it had eaten a cardboard box, I just left it for you to discover. The cat was still alive, though probably blocked up some.

Oh yeah, when you came in to the pub after a long bike ride to proclaim that said cat had puked over the tv? I know, I was with Giles when Moggsy puked over it, we both looked at each other - "Pub?" he asked. "Pub" I agreed and left it to you. We hated that cat.
(beatpig understands subliminalesbianmessagaying., Fri 31 Aug 2007, 14:52, Reply)