take that, chappie breath!
my ex bf, the creepy thin man, once went to get a weed when i was ill and couldn't move.
after telling me he'd be right back, he strolls in 8 hours later, stoned to the gills and with about enough left for one joint. the little fucker had smoked all the weed which I had paid for, with his skanky scab of a mate! i was too ill to even yell at him properly, so i decided to let revenge fester for a while.
2 weeks later, he starts to complain that i never made him proper home-cooked meals. as he never cooked anything at all and spent much of his day asleep on the couch, i was highly cheesed at this point. i realised that this time, my revenge was going to be a dish served hot.
i paid a little visit to the corner shop and bought a large tin of dog food.
together with some onions, carrots, potatoes, carpet lint, belly button fluff, ground toenail clippings and earwax, this made what appeared to be a very tasty home-made meat pie. i'm pretty sure there was an earwig or two in there as well.
as i have a wheat allergy, i couldn't enjoy this meaty feast, so i sat and watched him eat the whole vile concoction himself.

guilty? no, not really.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 1 Sep 2007, 4:03, Reply)