Another secret I've never told anyone



Years ago now and I was on a back-to-work employment scheme involved with the local arts scene.

I was a near-neighbour and good mate of the woman supervising the project, Maura. On the team with me was this alcoholic bloke, Mick who, although a nice guy, was as flakey as hell.

One day, after an artist's exhibition the night before, we had a couple of dozen bottles of Chilean vinegar, err, I mean Cabernet Sauvignon, left over.

Mick asked Maura if he could have a bottle and she said yes. I was present at the time and both Maura and myself assumed that Mick meant to take the plonk home with him. An hour or so later and Mick staggers into the main office utterly plastered and invites Maura, who he rather fancied, to the pub over the road. She refused and then got rather upset to find out that Mick had drank four bottles of wine in the storeroom. He left the office and, as he staggered along the corridor, he knocked a painting from the wall which hit the floor breaking the glass and frame which tore a gash in the canvas.

The overall manager was furious as the artist was an old college chum. Maura was hauled in for a grilling where she denied telling Mick he could take the wine. She tearfully pleaded with me not to drop her in it so, when it came to my turn, I backed up her version as being the truth. Mick was let go on the spot and was very lucky not to get charged with criminal damage and theft.

Not only did I have the guilt of fibbing but Maura, knowing that I had a hold over her, was decidedly cool towards me from then on - so much so that our friendship never recovered. On the odd occasion we pass in the street, we act as if we don't know one another.

There's not much I regret in my life, being of the "Ah fuckit, it's done now and that's that" persuasion but, if I could go back in time and stop myself being a witness to that conversation, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
(Fanta Menace Is tall enough to see over the fence, Sat 1 Sep 2007, 16:47, Reply)