probably belongs in a QOTW from a few weeks ago
but there is a so far unknown person (me) at work who lets of the most rancid silent farts ever, for example stood outside the entrance to the factory having a coffee before starting, let one go and a few moments later my supervisor who is stood a good 10 feet behind is asking "who shit?" and saying that it is evil

i have been accused of being the culprit a couple of times but saying that im stood too far away always gets me out of it

at first i though one of my colleagues would always get the blame since he farts and burps loudly all day long and applauds himself for volume and length etc. but his excuse when i cunningly slip one in is "if it was me i would have told you when i did it" which is 100% true

now all i live for is the constant suspense and coming up with new and bizare excuses to get me off the hook. its fun to let one go near some people and then walk away and come back when it has spread to their vicinity and listen to them accusing each other

i would apologise but it wasn't me im stood all the way over here

Edit: just had a look at a couple of pictures of Kate McCann on google and i totally would (i reckon that she would go bareback and i bet she swallows as well), does that make me a bad person?
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Sat 1 Sep 2007, 18:50, Reply)