Another one...
Really sorry, qotw is better than a shrink...


Young age (9 / 10 / 11)...

used to hang around my local primary school at nights (it was near my house, had a convenient mini-nelsons-column thingie.

Anyway, the primary school used to employ a welsh cleaning lady (Mrs Duff if you wanna know...). One night she gets in her car (about 20 feet from where we're all hanging around). Little did she know - she had 2 banana's up her exhaust. Cue: Us sniggering violently (snot bubbles, chest spasms, etc.).

The car starts fine. She drives off.

What? What just happened? I put banana's up the exhaust!

100 yards down the road, she starts to veer off -course. Heading towards the kerb / a house. The car gently bumps the kerb and is at an angle (opposite side of the road mind!)...No more movement.

All of my friends turn to stare at me. "Murderer."

The pointing starts. "Murderer."

Oh. My. Fucking. Jesus. "Murderer."

I ran. Like there was no tomorrow. I was a fucking "Murderer."

So, absolutely aghast at what I'd done, I end up in the local cemetary (not too far away), sitting on a bench staring at the ground.
My world had effectively been destroyed. I was going to Children's Panel. I was going to juvenile detention. Possibly for life. For a joke.

My friend found me a short while later, laughing his fucking head off when he saw me.

How could he be so cruel!? How?!

Mrs Duff had gotten out of the car, slammed the door, swearing in welsh. Her husband drove up - and removed the banana's from the exhaust. He then laughed and waved at my mates. He drove off, so did Mrs Duff.

I still get called "Murderer" whenever someone remembers this story.
(allywilson, Sun 2 Sep 2007, 16:41, Reply)