When I was a student
I was in one Sunday night and my flatmates were away, having been home for the weekend. One of them was going out with a girl, now his wife and mother of their 3 kids, and she used to write him letters every week which he kept (stupidly) on a shelf in the living room of our flat.

Well temptation got the better of me. I read one of them.

Actually it was all just the usual lovey-dovey mushy stuff, but there's one phrase which does remain etched in my memory. She was lamenting the fact he was away at university and she was stuck at home and she'd rather have him there so, as she put it:

"I could give you a bath and wash your cock with my mouth".

Good for him, I thought. But then I felt a bit guilty about reading that, as it was really more information than I needed to know. Sorry Stewart, but you shouldn't have left the letters lying around.

Actually, just remembered - the same year we had some other students living upstairs who used to make a hell of a noise and piss us off. In fact, Stewart once wrote them a letter which said only "Shut the fuck up!"

But one day the postie delivered their mail to our door by mistake. There was one from the bank. We opened it. It was saying that the bloke upstairs had been refused an overdraft, and would he please come in and see the manager.

We kept it for a month, then wrote "Not known at this address" on it and stuck it back in the mail.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 3 Sep 2007, 11:00, Reply)