Sorry, Fluffy...
After reading Synthesiser Patel's story...I remembered this tale of woe...

At the prime age of 7, I was given a fluffy albino hamster. His name, it be Fluffy.

Fluffy was a good natured hamster. Didn't bite, didn't runaway, didn't shit everyplace if let out. Was practically Jesus in hamster form.

I also received boom-bats. If you're unaware as to what these were they were tennis rackets / oversized table tennis rackets. Instead of a wirey-like mesh, they had a stretched plastic sheet. Whenver you hit a ball with them it made a satifying "BOOM!" noise. Hence the name...

Myself and my partner in crime were in my bedroom one day and were playing with them. We notice the hamster and decided to drop him from a few centimetres onto the boom-bat. "Boom!" Satisfying.

Dropped him from a foot. "Booom!"

Played boom-bat with a rat. "BOOOM! BOOOM! BOOOM! BOOOM! BOOOM! ...Thump..."

Strangely, unlike most Hamsters who go through a traumatic experience (Giro not in, balloon pops, microwave dings, etc) he didn't have a heartattack. "Brava!" I hear you cry.

No, unfortunately, Fluffy escaped one day. He went down a hole in the bedroom. Travelled about 200 yards to the local primary school, ended up in the headmasters house, whereupon his deaf wife (kid you not, funniest speech patterns ever) phoned (you read that right) us to ask in a very loud, squeeling, unpronounciated voice "HAVE YOU LOST A PATCHY WHITE RAT?!"

Why, yes, we had.

Fluffy was returned to us within a few minutes - minus a lot of his fluff. Literally had bald patches all over him.

This got steadily worse until he died.

I'm sorry, Fluffy. I truly am. :-(
(allywilson, Mon 3 Sep 2007, 19:39, Reply)